I guess the majority of us have heard about Tantric sex and massage. Had anyone asked me what it was exactly I would have giggled shyly and muttered something about gentle touching, feathers, massage and no orgasm. How wrong I was.
Tantric massage is basically just a massage. However it was created from the belief that if you are sexually happy and relaxed then your health will benefit. The Hindus describe Tantra as achieving personal growth through pleasurable existence. The massage itself does tend to cause orgasms, but these are described as a bonus rather than the aim.
Although Tantric massage does not involve actual penetrative sex, it does involve full on touching of the organs. For this reason you will not find it offered down your local health centre. You are far more likely to find it on offer in the many massage parlours in London and other major cities.
If you want to have a go with her or him indoors
The Internet is a wonderful thing, but sometimes you just need a book. And since the Internet is mostly filled with things concerning sex (a fact I totally just made up right now but is probably true nevertheless), there are several fantastic books out there that cover sex and all its iterations. Whether you’re a world-class lover or someone just looking for a few tips to spice things back up, here are the classics you should read to learn more about our favorite way to pass the time.
Kama Sutra: The old manual itself, the Kama Sutra was probably written sometime in the second century. And boy has it been helping out for a long time. While commonly thought of in the Western world as a guide to sex positions, the original text focuses more on the sex life and its relationship to the rest of life’s experiences. It ranks the various pleasures of life and also gives instructions on how to court a wife. But there are, of course, various sex positions and the joys of each. And after seeing some of these positions, the ancient Hindus knew how to get DOWN.
The Joy of Sex: The classic book of sex. Featuring pencil drawings from back when dudes had bushy mustaches and even bushier body hair, this book was one of the first books to treat sex like a fun activity and not some scientific method of pleasure making. It has since been updated, but the original is as much loved for the drawings as it is the quality information.
Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask: While this book did help usher in the sexual revolution of the 60s (and make for a wonderful early episode of The Wonder Years), the fact of the matter is that it doesn’t quite live up to modern beliefs. There are quite a few harmful stereotypes presented about homosexuality and while the other basic information is correct, there are far better guides available. It’s a shame, really, considering it’s such a great title.
The Guide To Getting It On: This book was featured prominently in my college’s school library. It’s easily my favorite of the list and talks about sex in a very informal (but helpful) way. The Guide To Getting It On covers just about everything you could ever possibly want to know about sex and is actually fun to read. It’s not something you would want to hide and if a visitor notices it on your shelf, it’s a great conversation starter. You might think you know everything there is about doing the deed, however this book will prove you wrong (and you’ll be thankful it did).
She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman: Trust me on this one. Your girlfriend will thank you for it. While it does try to rebrand sex into things like “coreplay” there is a ton of information that will shock you. Or it will shock your lady since you’ll turn into some kind of tongue master. Like they say, “Do onto others with your tongue, the way you wanted to be treated with her tongue.” I’m pretty sure that was in the Bible.
You will learn everything you ever wanted to know about sex, but were too nervous to ask. They can get racy….enjoy.
found this interesting article at:
Remember those pamphlets you got during awkward Sex Ed classes back in junior high that said, “Am I Normal?” and featured a frizzy-haired 13-year-old girl wearing a worried look? Inside the pamphlet were various facts and statistics about puberty and sex that did as much to ease your nerves as a trip to the mall with mom to shop for a new bra. Well, you may be older and wiser now and more comfortable in your skin, but if you’re like me, you’re still a little bit curious what constitutes “normal” between the sheets and under one’s clothes. After the jump, a list from LifeScience.com of ten surprising — and, not so surprising — sex statistics.
10. “An 18th-century Russian woman holds the world record for having birthed the most children: 69, which she had over the course of 27 pregnancies that included sixteen pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets. But she’s outdone by the male record-holder for most kids, a Moroccan emperor who, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, sired ‘at least 342 daughters and 525 sons, and by 1721, he was reputed to have 700 male descendants.’”
9. “The average erect penis is five to seven inches long, and four to six inches in circumference.”
8. “Approximately 5 percent of 40-year-old men and between 15 to 25 percent of 65-year-old men experience erectile dysfunction.” Hmm, I guess we’re sort of lying when we tell guys, “It happens to everyone!”
7. “The average male loses his virginity at age 16.9; females average slightly older, at 17.4. And a new study shows that genetics may be a factor: inherited traits, such as impulsivity, can make a person more or less willing to have sex at an earlier age.”
6. “About one out of 10 married adults say that they typically sleep alone.” No word on where do their spouses sleep…
5. “While 75 percent of men always reach orgasm during sex, only 29 percent of women report the same. In addition, most women are unable to climax through vaginal intercourse, instead needing clitoral stimulation.”
4. “Two-thirds of college students have been in a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, citing the lack of commitment required as the main advantage to such an arrangement. More than half of those who had sex with a friend said they had engaged in all forms of sex; 22.7 percent said they had intercourse only, while 8 percent said they did everything but have intercourse.”
3. “According to a survey of adults aged 20 to 59, women have an average of four sex partners during their lifetime; men have an average of seven.” Well, we already knew that, didn’t we?
2. “Two-thirds of women who had their first baby between 2001 and 2003 worked during their pregnancy, and 80 percent of those women worked within one month or less of giving birth. Compare this to the period between 1961 and 1965, when 44 percent of women worked during their pregnancy (35 percent worked one month or less before delivering).”
1. “At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women will have a genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. HPV, or human papillomavirus, comes in both low- and high-risk forms; low-risk HPV can cause genital warts, and high-risk can cause cervical and other cancers. In 90 percent of cases, the body’s immune system will fight off the disease within two years.”
found this little list at
10 Reasons To Have Sex Tonight
by Not So Secret
The evidence is mounting – sex is good for you, body and soul. Not only does an active sex life provide measurable physical benefits, but it also supports emotional and relational health. Life is full of a million distractions, but there are clear reasons why you should make time to make love.
1. Burn Calories
Sexual intercourse can burn as many as 150 calories every half hour. That’s the equivalent of a brisk jog, and it’s triple what you would burn if you sat couch surfing. If you have sex a few times a week, over the course of a year it’s like running 75 miles.
An active sex life, whether partnered or solo, also boosts immunoglobulin levels 30 percent compared to those who are abstaining. That means you’ll be better equipped to fight off sickness and disease.
3. Improve Body Image
Most adults are dissatisfied with their bodies, but sex can be an affirming and empowering way to reclaim a positive body image. It doesn’t matter your age, shape, size or physical limitations – if you have a body, you can experience sexual pleasure.
4. Relieve Pain
Have a headache? All the more reason to have sex. In one study, 60 percent of women reported that sex lessened their pain – about the same effectiveness as taking popular medications. Sex and orgasms increase the level of endorphins in your bloodstream, which may alleviate PMS symptoms and arthritis as well.
5. Improve Heart Health
A study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health reported that men who have sex at least twice a week cut their risk of a fatal heart attack by 50 percent when compared to men who have sex less than once a month.
6. Reduce the Risk of Prostate Cancer
The American Medical Association has reported that men in their 20s who have five or more ejaculations per week cut their risk of prostate cancer by a third when compared to men with less frequent ejaculations.
7. Strengthen Pelvic Floor Muscles
The adage “Use it or lose it” comes into play here. Sexual activity exercises the pelvic floor muscles, and better muscle tone increases pleasure and decreases your odds of developing incontinence later in life. This is true for men and women
An active sex life also helps to lower blood pressure and decrease stress. According to a study published in Biological Psychology, people who enjoyed frequent intercourse managed stress better than those who were abstaining or were engaging in other forms of sexual behaviors.
9. Increase Intimacy
Sexual arousal and orgasm result in increased levels of oxytocin, the “cuddle chemical” or “love hormone” that is known to support feelings of bonding and trust. Some research has shown that it also leads to increased generosity.
10. Get Better Sleep
The release of oxytocin has a calming, soothing effect and has been shown to promote sleep. To get an even better rest, incorporate meditative practices and sensual massage into your sexual encounters.
Becky Knight is a clinical sexologist and AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator. She offers coaching in person in Charlotte, North Carolina or on-line. You can find Becky at www.LivingSexuality.com.